The term "helicopter parents" is used to describe baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) who are overly involved in the lives of their children. Their children, part of the "echo boom" generation (born between 1982 and 2002), have grown up being "hovered over" by their parents. Typically this has included be shuttled to school and after-school activities in a well thought out itinerary. Not surprisingly it was this generation of kids that saw the minivan explode in popularity.

Unlike the parents of baby boomers who may have experienced problems letting go of children as they headed off to kindergarten, helicopter parents are unable to let go of their children as they head off to post-secondary studies. Such parents also have a major ally in their efforts to remain connected to their children in the form of technology. The advent of cell phones, instant messaging, text messaging and e-mail has created various means of cheap and quick communication that allow helicopter parents to remain instantly connected to their offspring. This reality has lead Richard Mullendor, a professor within the College of Student Affairs at the University of Georgia to describe the cell phone as the world's longest umbilical cord.

It is not surprising that parenting experts have weighed in on the topic of helicopter parents with a wide variety of ideas of what is driving this phenomenon. These opinions include the belief that some helicopter parents are simply worried that their basement will become a low-rent or no-rent apartment for their adult children. Others see these type of parents as living vicariously through their kids. From this viewpoint their child's failure is also their failure. Likewise, if their child is able to succeed, helicopter parents are also able to reach goals that otherwise would have been beyond their own reach.

Although many helicopter parents are convinced they are doing the right thing, Helen Johnson reflects the sentiments of many parenting experts when she notes that this type of over involvement sends a profound message to a young adult that says; "You are not capable of handling your life". Such children are also being denied the opportunity to become self reliant by learning how to manage conflict and solve their own problems.

Yet college or university is a huge investment. It's only reasonable that parents want to keep an eye on the outcome. So, what is the right line for parents to draw when looking after the interests of young adults heading off to post-secondary studies? In a nut-shell we believe that parents should think of themselves as coaches in the educational process. There advice is welcome, but they are not to confuse themselves as a player on the academic playing field.

Following is a brief list of behaviours that have been classified as appropriate (GO) or not appropriate (NO) parental involvement in a young person's post-secondary education.

GO - Offering advice on how to approach an instructor or professor concerning a specific issue.

NO - Contacting instructors or professors directly to discuss an issue.

GO - Showing ongoing interest in how they manage their studies.

NO -Calling or e-mailing several times a day to check to see if they are doing their work.

GO - Offering advice (if requested) about course selection.

NO - Taking the course selection process out of their hands and doing it for them.

GO - Offering advice or feedback with their essays - helping to proof read.

NO - Writing parts or their entire essay.

GO - Brainstorm questions they should ask at an educational advising appointment.

NO - Attending an advising appointment.

GO - Offering encouragement through the registration process.

NO - Registering for them.

GO - Remind them to follow up on their grades in a timely manner.

NO - Checking online or going on campus to get their grades for them.

It's interesting to note that employers have seen a carryover from helicopter parents heavily involved in their child's post-secondary education to them being heavily involved in their careers. This may take the form of writing resumes to sorting out potential employers at job fairs to determine the best fit. Not surprisingly, employers are taking a dim view to this type of parental involvement. They are looking for young people with the skills to manage themselves and the ability to interact I am effectively with those around them.

Ironically as helicopter parents attempt to micro-manage the lives of their kids for post-secondary and career success they are denying them the opportunity to succeed by allowing offspring to spread their own wings.

Often less involvement in a child's life is not the easiest course of action, simply the best course of action. It's a lesson that the generation in advance of the baby boomers are likely to applaud.

Tagged In: Parents , Transition